We all know that girl She doesn’t dress like Britney, she’s not the school
genius, and she isn’t the world’s biggest flirt. But she’s always with the best
cuties What gives? Discover what she knows about guys and you don’t–get.
So you wanna be that girl?
Why does she get all the guys? Does she sprinkle secret “dating dust” on
dudes as soon as they get near her? You’ve been eyeing a certain cutie since
September and guess who has him hanging on her every word?
Meanwhile, you’ve gotten nothing. Nada. Not a smile, not a wave, not even an,
“Oops, sorry I tripped you. I didn’t even notice you standing there.” You
couldn’t be more invisible if you tried.
Not anymore. We asked our guy-magnet readers to give us the scoop on how to
become that girl–the one every guy loves to hang out with.
“Impossible!” you say? “He’s never even acknowledged my existence!” But the
readers we heard from promise you this: Follow their advice and you’ll be able
to lose the invisible costume and be seen–even by him.
You’ve got your eye on a guy and you think you’d like to hang out with him
more. But how? Each time he rounds the second-floor corridor, you’re paralyzed
with fear–instantly wishing you could hop into the nearest locker and just
watch him through the slats. Stop the nonsense and get serious. If you don’t
know him well, it’s time to do some research to uncover the basics.
Make sure he’s in the game
Watch out for guys who don’t dig girls yet. If he doesn’t notice you–or any
other female–he simply might not be ready to date. You can’t force it. So make
sure he’s even an option before you spend emotional energy on a guy who’d rather
play Paintball with his buddies than hang out with you. According to Rachel, 11,
“I was so upset when Jeremy showed no interest in me. I thought I’d done
everything right. I smiled at him all the time, but he never said anything to
me. Then, I found out he still thinks girls are kind of gross. I felt a lot
better and found another crush!”
So, you’ve zeroed in on one who does likes girls. Phew! First, find out what
he enjoys. Is he into dirt bikes? Does he dream of becoming the next Ralph Nader?
Knowing what he likes opens a door for conversation. Instead of just saying
“hi,” try, “Heard you guys played awesome against Central. Congratulations!”
You’ll show you’re informed about the football team and that you’re interested
in what he does. Plus, chatting about football gives him the chance to talk
about something he loves. Guys groove on cluing girls in about subjects they
know (or think they know) a lot about.
No idea what he’s into? Ask your friends or his friends (if you know them
well). Be subtle. Does he hang with the jocks or the boys in drama club? Putting
yourself in the know helps you be in the right place at the right time. Says
Stephanie, 13, “The best way to get a guy to notice you is to just act normal.
If that doesn’t get you anywhere, take an interest in what he does. Like, try
playing soccer with him and his friends–it worked for me!” Honestly, often
turning a crush into reality depends on timing. So do your research!
Nobody likes a know-it-all, but nobody likes a dummy either. So stay
informed–not only about him but about the rest of the world, too. You don’t
have to be an expert on every newsworthy topic, but knowing what’s going on
makes you a more interesting person. Catch a couple minutes of CNN and Sports
Center. Or, click on the news flash when you’re checking your e-mail. Guys enjoy
talking to girls who know what’s up and have something to say.
Be school savvy
Don’t be intimidated to learn and get smart. After all, that’s why you’re in
school. As a bonus your crush might realize you’re an algebra ace and ask for a
tutoring session–or try: “Hey, I’m studying for the test tonight, and I have
awesome notes if you want to meet up. Use your brains to your advantage. But
remember that there’s a difference between smart and obnoxious. It’s cool to let
people know you’re swift, but never make anyone feel stupid.
Ace the approach
When it comes to approaching him, be informed and be specific. “Did you
finish that bio lab?” is lame compared to, “Can you believe they’re tearing down
the movie theaters? Where are we supposed to hang on weekends now?” That gives
him a chance to answer your question and share his view.
You’ve got the scoop. At this point, you’ve likely chatted and it’s time to
forge ahead. Why not take the friend approach while getting to know your crush?
Being friends lets both of you get to know each other better. Says Chrissy, 12,
“Become friends with him. That way you’ll know if you really do like him.”
Agreed. There’s no point sweatin’ it out over a dude who turns out to be a dud.
Once you’re friendly, you’ll be comfortable being yourselves around each
other–which makes dating and talking a whole lot more fun. Hey, it worked for
Chandler and Monica.
A smile goes a mile
According to Lucy, 13, “I got my crush to notice me by hanging out with his
friends until I felt comfortable enough talking with him. We went on a ride at
the carnival, and he invited me to go on a nature walk the next day.” Lucy has a
point–you can get to know a guy by hanging with his buds. Being friendly with
his pals never hurts. They might mention that you’re a sweetheart.
Along the same lines, our readers point out that smiling, looking him in the
eyes and being approachable can definitely help get you noticed. Jamie, 14,
says, “When I want to get a crush’s attention, I start conversations with him,
tell a funny joke or two, get his phone number and basically just be myself If
you follow these steps, you should eventually win him over–if he’s worth it!”
Not bad advice…
Stay cool and be confident
Of all our readers’ tips, there is one suggestion almost every girl mentions:
“Just be yourself” Cliche enough to make you gag, but it actually works.
According to Sharon, 13, “If the guy likes you, then he likes YOU. Why should
you pretend you’re someone else just to impress him?” While guys are often kinda
slow picking up on our flirtations, somehow they are rarely oblivious to a phony
personality. “If he sees you hanging out with your girlfriends being funny and
carefree, he’ll wonder what’s up if you act totally loud and obnoxious, or clam
up when he’s around,” Bethany, 14, warns. He’ll likely assume you’re putting on
a show, and you don’t want that.
Let the you shine through
Being yourself should work if you’re genuinely a happy, lively, fun, chatty
person. But, if you’re totally shy, practice being more sociable. “I get super
shy, especially around boys,” says Mandy, 13, “But I was just dying to meet
Chad, so I slowly got up my nerve to talk with him. First, I sat down with some
new girls at lunch. Then I asked one of Chad’s friends for a pen. Since I wasn’t
rejected, I felt ready to approach Chad. It took three months, but now he’s my
So you’ve vowed to be the real you–even in front of your crush. It sounds
trite. But, as our readers attest, it works. One more thing–add a splash of
confidence to the real you. Be warned that there’s a major difference between
cocky and confident. People are drawn to others who come off as secure with
themselves. If you feel uncomfortable in your skin or even in your new jeans,
people can sense it. So what’s a girl to do? Walk straight with your head up and
your shoulders slightly back. Don’t be afraid to cross the room or go to the
bathroom by yourself. Don’t shy away from guys who approach you. Oh, and most
guys hate to approach girls who are standing in a large crowd, so be independent
and separate from the pack once in a while.
Get a life
Your chances of attracting a guy can reach sky-high limits, and the only work
involved is getting involved. Our boy experts have one thing in common–they are
all involved in school or other activities. Most exhibit school spirit, too.
Guys like girls who are interesting and have a life. Dive right into an activity
you believe in. You’ll have something to talk about–and we know how difficult
that can be. Bonus: fewer blanks on those college applications.
So get off the futon and join some clubs, like the debate team or the pep
squad. You’ll suddenly have more friends than you thought possible. “Guys tend
to like girls who get involved with stuff,” says Patti, 14. “Join your student
council or basketball team–whatever you enjoy doing that gets you in on what’s
How about writing captions for the yearbook or running for student
government? Thirteen-year-old Crystal’s best friend talked her into getting on
the staff of the school newspaper: “Once I joined, I became much more outgoing
because I met people who liked the same stuff as me. I met a great boy who’s a
photographer.” Writing for the paper led her to meet guys she’d never have the
nerve to talk to otherwise.
Got mad skills?
What are you good at? Star spiker on the volleyball court? Join the team.
Drama queen? Audition for the school production of Bye Bye Birdie. Don’t just
sit there while the girls’ softball team attracts all the hotties to their lunch
table. If you’re not a star athlete, show up to root for your crush’s football
team. He might appreciate a fan. Or throw a post-game party (run it by the
‘rents first). Now you have a reason to approach him, so invite with a smile.
Who wouldn’t want to dance with the hostess with the mostest? Everyone will talk
about the bash of the season–yours.
Earlier, we suggested doing your homework…on your crush–doing research,
finding out what he likes. However, don’t join every single club he’s in or
attend SADD meetings just because your crush does. But if he is the star of the
musical each year and you’re a great songstress, start rehearsing Sandy’s part
Be seen, and have fun–more people will automatically flock to you, guys
included. Sign up for yoga, volunteer at a nursing home, join the dance team.
Just do something–something you like.
Guy magnets and dating divas are always surrounded by friends, right? What
gives? They encircle themselves with girls and guys. Who are you hanging out
with? The same old clique? You’ll be more accessible if you’re not a permanent
fixture in one group. Once you’ve joined some school clubs, you should have all
different friends–the swim team, student council members or yearbook staff.
Says Geri, 14, “Don’t be the girl who only talks to the ‘it’ boys. You’ll
only make other guys feel intimidated, and you’ll look like you’re stuck-up.”
Well said. Who’s gonna ask you to dance when you turn your nose up at any guy
who isn’t six feet tall? Set goals but also be realistic.
Look beyond looks
Simone, 15, always crushed on the same guys everyone else liked. “My friends
liked all the same guys, so I followed them. It didn’t get me very far. Once I
stopped obsessing over the football team, there were so many other boys I found
Sure, who doesn’t admire the captain of the soccer team? But where does that
leave you? Competing with 300 other girls for his attention, that’s where.
Your first BF doesn’t have to be the hottest, most popular guy in school.
What about the Scott Foley look-a-like who’s a great artist? Maybe he gets
invited to all the parties or has a great sense of humor. He’s not a Chris
Klein, but there’s something about him. If he sits behind you in bio, turn
around and take a look. Hey, Winona Ryder fell in love with Johnny Depp in
Edward Scissorhands. He couldn’t hug her, but he certainly had heart. Keep that
What type of boys do you really like? List qualities you want in a boyfriend.
Is appearance tops on your list? Popularity and looks aren’t everything. We’re
not telling you to go for someone who doesn’t make your heart go aflutter just
so you can have a boyfriend. But, don’t set your standards so high that you end
up all alone on the dance floor at the Sweethearts Dance.
Now you’re that girl
Now that you’re in on the guy magnet secrets, you’ll be the girl you used to
envy in no time. “Most of the girls at my school all act the same–guys have
told me that can get pretty boring. Boys like me because I’m fun and not like
everyone else,” says Samantha, 14.
So if your crush is shooting hoops in gym and you can dunk, get off the
bleachers and join him. You’ll be glad you did. Just remember: Never change the
true you just to nab a boy (we know you’d never do that, right?)
No one expects you to be a top-of-the-class student, award-winning artist and
most popular girl in school. The idea is just to be confident, interesting and
approachable. Then it’s up to you to decide if you want to return those calls
from that new cutie who just transferred to your school.
The girl no guy can resist
Our Guys Q&A columnist Dave gets real on how to reel one in:
The art of getting the guy you want is similar to that classic male pastime–
fishing. The trick is to reel him in without him knowing. By the time he does,
he’s hooked and floundering. There’s a myth floating in the dating pond that
girls should sit and wait for guys to ask them out. There’s nothing wrong with
dropping a few lines of enticing bait in the water. Guys know how difficult
asking a girl out can be, so most are genuinely flattered if a girl does
something to attract their attention. Here are a few lures that have enticed me
The Sports Whiz
Guys need an easy transition from hanging out with buddies to spending time
with a girl. Too much pink and perfume sends us scampering back to our familiar
surroundings of sweaty gym clothes and Sony PlayStations. Sometimes, the more a
girl does to make herself “guy-like,” the better. And nothing is more guy-like
than sports, so brush up. The idea isn’t to know every detail of the sports page
but to have enough knowledge to converse. The key? Ask intelligent questions to
show him you’re sports smart and want to get even smarter!
The Food Girl
If there’s one thing guys like more than sports, it’s food. Surely, you’ve
heard the old cliche that the way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach. What
does your guy like to chow down on? Think of a unique way to link yourself to
that obsession. Say he’s a pepperoni pizza fanatic who never misses a Cowboys’
game on TV. Have a pizza delivered to his house during the game on Sunday–just
be sure to pay for it in advance, It’s not such a nice gesture if the the pizza
delivery guy hits him up for $14 at the front door.
Most guys like girls who aren’t afraid to communicate. Talking is nice, but
the written word is permanent. Writing is great if you’re shy or tongue-twisted
around your guy. Being flirty is easy in person, but there’s something special
about a girl who can intrigue with pen and paper. Always use at least one word
in your letter that’s really cool and the guy can’t define. Send him scampering
for his Webster’s and wondering what else he can learn from you. Foreign
phrases, especially in Latin, will make some guys absolutely mad for you.
That’s all I have time for–the game’s about to start, I’ve got Chinese
delivery on the way and I’m positively rapacious.
The Girls’ Life Top 10 List
Surefire ways to scare him off!
1 Don’t cave to peer pressure. Show that you’re the kind of girl that’s
capable of making smart choices. Plus, nobody likes a follower.
2 Don’t stalk. You can let him know you like him. But don’t call his house
100 times and hang up when he answers–Caller ID exists, remember?
3 Don’t whine and complain. Nobody likes a girl who acts like a baby. Guys
like girls who have it together.
4 Don’t gossip. Even if the annoying girl in math has three zits and a
heinous sweater, refrain from telling your crush. You’ll look jealous and
5 Don’t dress inappropriately. Hot pants and tube tops make you look
desperate for attention. You have other attributes to flaunt…like a
6 Don’t act differently around your crush. Pretending you love
skateboarding–when you don’t know what a half-pipe is–will catch up to you.
7 Don’t brag. Be proud of accomplishments, but don’t talk 24/7 about your
soccer goal. He heard you.
8 Don’t act stupid. You’re smart, and it’s not cute to play dumb–so don’t
act like an airhead.
9 Don’t be the “I don’t know” girl. If he asks about your favorite CD, tell
him. If you just whimper, “I don’t know,” the conversation is over.
10 Don’t involve friends. Having a bud tell your crush you like him comes off
immature. Girls mature faster than guys-don’t let ’em forget it!
COPYRIGHT 2001 Monarch Avalon, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2001 Gale Group