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Guy Magnet. Be the Next Big Thing! - how to make oneself attractive to the person one likes

by Sarah Cordi, Alicia Clott

We all know that girl She doesn't dress like Britney, she's not the school genius, and she isn't the world's biggest flirt. But she's always with the best cuties What gives? Discover what she knows about guys and you don't--get.

So you wanna be that girl?

Why does she get all the guys? Does she sprinkle secret "dating dust" on dudes as soon as they get near her? You've been eyeing a certain cutie since September and guess who has him hanging on her every word?

Meanwhile, you've gotten nothing. Nada. Not a smile, not a wave, not even an, "Oops, sorry I tripped you. I didn't even notice you standing there." You couldn't be more invisible if you tried.

Not anymore. We asked our guy-magnet readers to give us the scoop on how to become that girl--the one every guy loves to hang out with.

"Impossible!" you say? "He's never even acknowledged my existence!" But the readers we heard from promise you this: Follow their advice and you'll be able to lose the invisible costume and be seen--even by him.

Get digging

You've got your eye on a guy and you think you'd like to hang out with him more. But how? Each time he rounds the second-floor corridor, you're paralyzed with fear--instantly wishing you could hop into the nearest locker and just watch him through the slats. Stop the nonsense and get serious. If you don't know him well, it's time to do some research to uncover the basics.

Make sure he's in the game

Watch out for guys who don't dig girls yet. If he doesn't notice you--or any other female--he simply might not be ready to date. You can't force it. So make sure he's even an option before you spend emotional energy on a guy who'd rather play Paintball with his buddies than hang out with you. According to Rachel, 11, "I was so upset when Jeremy showed no interest in me. I thought I'd done everything right. I smiled at him all the time, but he never said anything to me. Then, I found out he still thinks girls are kind of gross. I felt a lot better and found another crush!"

Game on!

So, you've zeroed in on one who does likes girls. Phew! First, find out what he enjoys. Is he into dirt bikes? Does he dream of becoming the next Ralph Nader? Knowing what he likes opens a door for conversation. Instead of just saying "hi," try, "Heard you guys played awesome against Central. Congratulations!" You'll show you're informed about the football team and that you're interested in what he does. Plus, chatting about football gives him the chance to talk about something he loves. Guys groove on cluing girls in about subjects they know (or think they know) a lot about.

No idea what he's into? Ask your friends or his friends (if you know them well). Be subtle. Does he hang with the jocks or the boys in drama club? Putting yourself in the know helps you be in the right place at the right time. Says Stephanie, 13, "The best way to get a guy to notice you is to just act normal. If that doesn't get you anywhere, take an interest in what he does. Like, try playing soccer with him and his friends--it worked for me!" Honestly, often turning a crush into reality depends on timing. So do your research!

Get smarty!

Nobody likes a know-it-all, but nobody likes a dummy either. So stay informed--not only about him but about the rest of the world, too. You don't have to be an expert on every newsworthy topic, but knowing what's going on makes you a more interesting person. Catch a couple minutes of CNN and Sports Center. Or, click on the news flash when you're checking your e-mail. Guys enjoy talking to girls who know what's up and have something to say.

Be school savvy

Don't be intimidated to learn and get smart. After all, that's why you're in school. As a bonus your crush might realize you're an algebra ace and ask for a tutoring session--or try: "Hey, I'm studying for the test tonight, and I have awesome notes if you want to meet up. Use your brains to your advantage. But remember that there's a difference between smart and obnoxious. It's cool to let people know you're swift, but never make anyone feel stupid.

Ace the approach

When it comes to approaching him, be informed and be specific. "Did you finish that bio lab?" is lame compared to, "Can you believe they're tearing down the movie theaters? Where are we supposed to hang on weekends now?" That gives him a chance to answer your question and share his view.

Get friendly

You've got the scoop. At this point, you've likely chatted and it's time to forge ahead. Why not take the friend approach while getting to know your crush? Being friends lets both of you get to know each other better. Says Chrissy, 12, "Become friends with him. That way you'll know if you really do like him." Agreed. There's no point sweatin' it out over a dude who turns out to be a dud. Once you're friendly, you'll be comfortable being yourselves around each other--which makes dating and talking a whole lot more fun. Hey, it worked for Chandler and Monica.

A smile goes a mile

According to Lucy, 13, "I got my crush to notice me by hanging out with his friends until I felt comfortable enough talking with him. We went on a ride at the carnival, and he invited me to go on a nature walk the next day." Lucy has a point--you can get to know a guy by hanging with his buds. Being friendly with his pals never hurts. They might mention that you're a sweetheart.

Along the same lines, our readers point out that smiling, looking him in the eyes and being approachable can definitely help get you noticed. Jamie, 14, says, "When I want to get a crush's attention, I start conversations with him, tell a funny joke or two, get his phone number and basically just be myself If you follow these steps, you should eventually win him over--if he's worth it!" Not bad advice...

Stay cool and be confident

Of all our readers' tips, there is one suggestion almost every girl mentions: "Just be yourself" Cliche enough to make you gag, but it actually works.

According to Sharon, 13, "If the guy likes you, then he likes YOU. Why should you pretend you're someone else just to impress him?" While guys are often kinda slow picking up on our flirtations, somehow they are rarely oblivious to a phony personality. "If he sees you hanging out with your girlfriends being funny and carefree, he'll wonder what's up if you act totally loud and obnoxious, or clam up when he's around," Bethany, 14, warns. He'll likely assume you're putting on a show, and you don't want that.

Let the you shine through

Being yourself should work if you're genuinely a happy, lively, fun, chatty person. But, if you're totally shy, practice being more sociable. "I get super shy, especially around boys," says Mandy, 13, "But I was just dying to meet Chad, so I slowly got up my nerve to talk with him. First, I sat down with some new girls at lunch. Then I asked one of Chad's friends for a pen. Since I wasn't rejected, I felt ready to approach Chad. It took three months, but now he's my BF."

So you've vowed to be the real you--even in front of your crush. It sounds trite. But, as our readers attest, it works. One more thing--add a splash of confidence to the real you. Be warned that there's a major difference between cocky and confident. People are drawn to others who come off as secure with themselves. If you feel uncomfortable in your skin or even in your new jeans, people can sense it. So what's a girl to do? Walk straight with your head up and your shoulders slightly back. Don't be afraid to cross the room or go to the bathroom by yourself. Don't shy away from guys who approach you. Oh, and most guys hate to approach girls who are standing in a large crowd, so be independent and separate from the pack once in a while.

Get a life

Your chances of attracting a guy can reach sky-high limits, and the only work involved is getting involved. Our boy experts have one thing in common--they are all involved in school or other activities. Most exhibit school spirit, too. Guys like girls who are interesting and have a life. Dive right into an activity you believe in. You'll have something to talk about--and we know how difficult that can be. Bonus: fewer blanks on those college applications.

So get off the futon and join some clubs, like the debate team or the pep squad. You'll suddenly have more friends than you thought possible. "Guys tend to like girls who get involved with stuff," says Patti, 14. "Join your student council or basketball team--whatever you enjoy doing that gets you in on what's going on."

How about writing captions for the yearbook or running for student government? Thirteen-year-old Crystal's best friend talked her into getting on the staff of the school newspaper: "Once I joined, I became much more outgoing because I met people who liked the same stuff as me. I met a great boy who's a photographer." Writing for the paper led her to meet guys she'd never have the nerve to talk to otherwise.

Got mad skills?

What are you good at? Star spiker on the volleyball court? Join the team. Drama queen? Audition for the school production of Bye Bye Birdie. Don't just sit there while the girls' softball team attracts all the hotties to their lunch table. If you're not a star athlete, show up to root for your crush's football team. He might appreciate a fan. Or throw a post-game party (run it by the 'rents first). Now you have a reason to approach him, so invite with a smile. Who wouldn't want to dance with the hostess with the mostest? Everyone will talk about the bash of the season--yours.

Earlier, we suggested doing your homework...on your crush--doing research, finding out what he likes. However, don't join every single club he's in or attend SADD meetings just because your crush does. But if he is the star of the musical each year and you're a great songstress, start rehearsing Sandy's part for Grease.

Be seen, and have fun--more people will automatically flock to you, guys included. Sign up for yoga, volunteer at a nursing home, join the dance team. Just do something--something you like.

Get real

Guy magnets and dating divas are always surrounded by friends, right? What gives? They encircle themselves with girls and guys. Who are you hanging out with? The same old clique? You'll be more accessible if you're not a permanent fixture in one group. Once you've joined some school clubs, you should have all different friends--the swim team, student council members or yearbook staff.

Says Geri, 14, "Don't be the girl who only talks to the 'it' boys. You'll only make other guys feel intimidated, and you'll look like you're stuck-up." Well said. Who's gonna ask you to dance when you turn your nose up at any guy who isn't six feet tall? Set goals but also be realistic.

Look beyond looks

Simone, 15, always crushed on the same guys everyone else liked. "My friends liked all the same guys, so I followed them. It didn't get me very far. Once I stopped obsessing over the football team, there were so many other boys I found interesting."

Sure, who doesn't admire the captain of the soccer team? But where does that leave you? Competing with 300 other girls for his attention, that's where.

Your first BF doesn't have to be the hottest, most popular guy in school. What about the Scott Foley look-a-like who's a great artist? Maybe he gets invited to all the parties or has a great sense of humor. He's not a Chris Klein, but there's something about him. If he sits behind you in bio, turn around and take a look. Hey, Winona Ryder fell in love with Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands. He couldn't hug her, but he certainly had heart. Keep that in mind.

What type of boys do you really like? List qualities you want in a boyfriend. Is appearance tops on your list? Popularity and looks aren't everything. We're not telling you to go for someone who doesn't make your heart go aflutter just so you can have a boyfriend. But, don't set your standards so high that you end up all alone on the dance floor at the Sweethearts Dance.

Now you're that girl

Now that you're in on the guy magnet secrets, you'll be the girl you used to envy in no time. "Most of the girls at my school all act the same--guys have told me that can get pretty boring. Boys like me because I'm fun and not like everyone else," says Samantha, 14.

So if your crush is shooting hoops in gym and you can dunk, get off the bleachers and join him. You'll be glad you did. Just remember: Never change the true you just to nab a boy (we know you'd never do that, right?)

No one expects you to be a top-of-the-class student, award-winning artist and most popular girl in school. The idea is just to be confident, interesting and approachable. Then it's up to you to decide if you want to return those calls from that new cutie who just transferred to your school.

The girl no guy can resist

Our Guys Q&A columnist Dave gets real on how to reel one in:

The art of getting the guy you want is similar to that classic male pastime-- fishing. The trick is to reel him in without him knowing. By the time he does, he's hooked and floundering. There's a myth floating in the dating pond that girls should sit and wait for guys to ask them out. There's nothing wrong with dropping a few lines of enticing bait in the water. Guys know how difficult asking a girl out can be, so most are genuinely flattered if a girl does something to attract their attention. Here are a few lures that have enticed me to nibble....

The Sports Whiz

Guys need an easy transition from hanging out with buddies to spending time with a girl. Too much pink and perfume sends us scampering back to our familiar surroundings of sweaty gym clothes and Sony PlayStations. Sometimes, the more a girl does to make herself "guy-like," the better. And nothing is more guy-like than sports, so brush up. The idea isn't to know every detail of the sports page but to have enough knowledge to converse. The key? Ask intelligent questions to show him you're sports smart and want to get even smarter!

The Food Girl

If there's one thing guys like more than sports, it's food. Surely, you've heard the old cliche that the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach. What does your guy like to chow down on? Think of a unique way to link yourself to that obsession. Say he's a pepperoni pizza fanatic who never misses a Cowboys' game on TV. Have a pizza delivered to his house during the game on Sunday--just be sure to pay for it in advance, It's not such a nice gesture if the the pizza delivery guy hits him up for $14 at the front door.

The Writer

Most guys like girls who aren't afraid to communicate. Talking is nice, but the written word is permanent. Writing is great if you're shy or tongue-twisted around your guy. Being flirty is easy in person, but there's something special about a girl who can intrigue with pen and paper. Always use at least one word in your letter that's really cool and the guy can't define. Send him scampering for his Webster's and wondering what else he can learn from you. Foreign phrases, especially in Latin, will make some guys absolutely mad for you.

That's all I have time for--the game's about to start, I've got Chinese delivery on the way and I'm positively rapacious.

The Girls' Life Top 10 List

Surefire ways to scare him off!

1 Don't cave to peer pressure. Show that you're the kind of girl that's capable of making smart choices. Plus, nobody likes a follower.

2 Don't stalk. You can let him know you like him. But don't call his house 100 times and hang up when he answers--Caller ID exists, remember?

3 Don't whine and complain. Nobody likes a girl who acts like a baby. Guys like girls who have it together.

4 Don't gossip. Even if the annoying girl in math has three zits and a heinous sweater, refrain from telling your crush. You'll look jealous and insecure.

5 Don't dress inappropriately. Hot pants and tube tops make you look desperate for attention. You have other attributes to flaunt...like a personality.

6 Don't act differently around your crush. Pretending you love skateboarding--when you don't know what a half-pipe is--will catch up to you.

7 Don't brag. Be proud of accomplishments, but don't talk 24/7 about your soccer goal. He heard you.

8 Don't act stupid. You're smart, and it's not cute to play dumb--so don't act like an airhead.

9 Don't be the "I don't know" girl. If he asks about your favorite CD, tell him. If you just whimper, "I don't know," the conversation is over.

10 Don't involve friends. Having a bud tell your crush you like him comes off immature. Girls mature faster than guys-don't let 'em forget it!

COPYRIGHT 2001 Monarch Avalon, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2001 Gale Group

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