Men hate to get rejected by women. There’s nothing worse than having your ego smashed to little pieces when the woman of your (wet) dreams turns you down for a date. You really thought she was interested, but somehow you must have misread her signals…
From the male point of view, women are often far too subtle and indirect — or just plain confusing — when revealing their romantic interest (unless you happen to be really good-looking and loaded with cash, in which case they call you ). And yes, women often give out mixed messages because they’re not sure themselves about what’s going on inside their heads.
So what most guys are looking for is a set of clear signals that a woman is definitely warm for their form.
Does this exist? Well, here are a few signs that she probably wants you to ask her out.
1- She’s “in your face”
All of a sudden, you’ll become aware of her presence everywhere — she “just happens” to show up wherever you hang out, or you keep passing her in the hallway at work, or she “accidentally” bumps into you, or she maneuvers to stand close to you at a club.
What she’s doing is trying to get you to notice her, to position herself so that you can make the “first move.” The problem is, a lot of guys are completely oblivious to this female ploy, so they can easily throw away a lot of chances to hook up. Men are direct; women are indirect. So if a woman starts appearing regularly in your path, chances are she’s doing it on purpose.
2- She’s got the right moves
An old saying goes, “Bodies don’t lie.” Nature has programmed humans with a complex set of non-verbal flirting signals that just flow spontaneously when they’re interested. These range from the widening of the iris when looking at the object of desire to more overt displays such as smiling or touching.
Here are a few body language cues to watch for:
- Pointing in your direction with her leg, foot, or shoulders
- Leaning toward you while talking
- Playing with or tossing her hair
- Fondling a piece of jewelry (like an earring) or stroking the stem of her glass (big clue here!)
- Keeping her eyes locked on you while she talks or drinks
- Mirroring your body movements (for example, if you put your hand on the table, she quickly does the same)
- Smiling when you check out her body
If you become aware of a cluster of these signals when she’s around you, you can almost be sure that she’s giving you the green light for romance.
She makes time for you and she uses “The Probe” to figure you out…
3- She’s never too busy
This is the most cardinal rule of the dating game: if a woman is interested in going out with you, she will make herself available . This means that she will give you a work number or e-mail address. She will answer or return your call quickly. She will accept your invitation to get together — and if she’s busy on the day you specify, she will say something like, “Well, I can’t this Saturday, but next Saturday would be fine, if that’s okay.”
You’ll never hear from an interested woman things like, “I’m really busy right now,” or “Let me check my schedule,” or “I just got out of a bad relationship, so I’m all mixed up about men.” Even if she’s currently actively dating someone else, she will keep the lines of communication open with you for the possibility of future contact.
4- She’s curious about you
A woman who’s interested in you wants to know everything about you (so she can talk about you with her girlfriends). She will quiz you about your family, your background, your taste in food, music, movies, etc. Very often, what she’s doing is trying to catalog your interests so that she can mimic your likes and dislikes in order to bond with you — if you’re crazy about hot air ballooning, suddenly, she is too.
5- She uses “The Probe” on you
“The Probe” is the female tool for ascertaining the level of a man’s financial resources. It takes the form of seemingly casual questions, but behind it a ruthless calculator is ticking away. So when a woman first meets a man she might be interested in dating, she will quiz him on his job, where he lives, what kind of car he drives, all within the confines of what appears to be a natural conversation. If you give the “right” answers, then the flirting signals will follow; but if you aren’t up to her “standards,” she’s gone in a cloud of dust.
6- She “futures” you
An interested woman is wide open for any future plans with you. In fact, she will often say something like, “Oh…you like bowling, too? We should do that some time.” When she’s operating in this mode, make no mistake about it — she wants you to ask her out.
7- She’s on pins and needles
If she’s really interested, she’ll be as nervous as a cat around you, especially if you’re clueless about reading her signals. Of course, she could be just a normally shy person, so watch how she interacts with others — if she’s only fidgety around you, then she’s probably thinking romance.
8- She’s jealous of other women you talk to
She’s got the green-eyed monster on her back. An interested woman will watch her competition like a hawk (and with talons bared). So if you notice her steaming just because you’re joking around with other women, you can be sure that she wants you to be more than just her friend.
it’s time to make your move
These are some of the most obvious signals women emit when they want you. But be on your toes — spotting just one of these signs might not necessarily be enough to determine her interest (some women are just openly friendly to everyone).
However, if a lot of these signals are coming your way, it’s a pretty safe bet that you’re going to score a date for this weekend.
Matthew Fitzgerald is the author of Sex-Ploytation. He has appeared on radio shows from coast-to-coast in the United States and in Canada, and has been featured on the Montel show and The Other Half.