I am now going to reveal to you what women want,
have always wanted and will always be looking for in any man with whom they
become intimate. It is a “Trump” attribute, which means that its presence is a
more powerful influence than others and can tip the scales of emotional
acceptance in your favor immediately.
Be advised that I will be dealing with a
monumental but accurate generalization which is not meant to apply to every
female who ever lived. I bow to the variability within and between the sexes.
Nonetheless, you will see that my assertion has the undeniable thud of the
If you feel the cold chill of disbelief or the
fever of indignation rising in you at these words, please consult with Woody
Allen, a cunning expert at attracting beautiful talented women on the sheer
force of this “Trump” attribute which draws women like… migrating butterflies.
What women want from men
is confidence. The Trump is Personal Confidence.
Confidence… not arrogance, not dominance, not
one-upsmanship, not useless bravado, not macho heroics. Women just love truly
Now as you know, confidence is an attitude
thing. In particular, male confidence frequently manifests as an
“I-can-handle-it attitude”. This does not mean that feelings are denied. It
doesn’t imply an absence of doubt, fear, or vulnerability. A delusion of total
self sufficiency is not required.
Confidence simply says: “I can deal with it…
somehow… well at least I’ll do my best”. The attitude of confidence doesn’t
even have to be constant, just generally present in the face of most life
For hundreds of thousands of years of human
development, a confident attitude was much easier for men to gain and display
than it is now because it was required for survival. There was hardly any
choice. Until recently, the demands of physical survival were the primary issue
in pair-bonding and confidence-building roles for both sexes directly related to
survival were far more apparent. I am not talking about survival in
extraordinary circumstances, either. It could be as basic as steadfastness in
getting the crops in out of the rain.
In the smaller communities in which we used to
live, everyone could see the skilled hunter, the dedicated farmer and stockman,
the courageous protector, the skilled artisan, the accomplished leader, the sage
teacher, the men who didn’t give up in the face of threatening set-backs.
Why hell! There have been times and cultures
where a women wouldn’t even consider a man who couldn’t claim to be a good
carpenter or a competent dirt mover. These roles, decreed by harsher realities
of life than most of us now experience, were obvious advertisements for male
virtue, i.e., “I can handle it”.
Unfortunately, the signs indicative of genuine
masculine confidence are confusing today and gender roles are a chaotic mess.
The external demonstrations of natural confidence have become confused with the
poor substitute of consumer status symbols. But… women instinctually look for
clues to a man’s level of confidence… and test it to the limit… but not in
the old-fashioned way.
Now for the good news! Since confidence is
primarily an attitude toward meeting life challenges of all kinds – and there’s
no shortage of challenges in the world – the essential attitude can still be
cultivated and demonstrated. But it cannot be faked with money, looks, or
Willingness to face important struggles is still
the ultimate key to a woman’s respect. In contemporary times, a man may express
this dynamic in many conventional ways. He can show his confidence integrity
through competence in his work, education, sports, hobbies, child rearing, or
doing home improvements. Actually, we can include here any thing which involves
mastering a new learning curve and overcoming ego uncertainties.
Now, if a man really wants to do some crash
confidence building these days, he can try still the old-fashioned approach –
and many do so.
He can expose himself to more risks and bigger
risks: jump out of a few airplanes, compete at martial arts, skiboard off of
snowy mountains, lift weights, climb sheer cliffs with only the strength of his
fingertips for security, take on dangerous political controversies, start an
unusual new business with more enthusiasm than capital, confront and influence
provocative teenagers, or spend days in the wilderness with only his tom-tom for
But we all know perfectly well that these are
methods not character outcomes. It is not the specific activity that matters,
what matters is what goes on in the man’s head that makes him feel some sense of
Or… a man can cut to the bottom line, avoid
physically and financially dangerous experiences, and go for The Really Big
Risk… the ultimate emotional challenge. He can work directly at becoming more
confident with women themselves. That’s riskier than cliff climbing, anyway!
Although a woman likes to believe a man is
willing to deal with a lot of things, what really counts is that he is able to
deal with her. A healthy, mature woman resists impassioned commitment to a man
who is afraid of her sexuality, her intelligence, or her emotions.
This means gaining confidence and empathy
(unavoidably stuck together) in approaching and relating to women on many
levels, in the face of rejections real or imagined. And since this is the
riskiest venture of all, the pay-off is, appropriately, the biggest: the
devotion of a loving woman who can make your life extremely pleasant on a daily
basis. Confidence with women in general – beautiful, plain, smart, nice, mean,
old, young – every kind of woman – is an unavoidable social skill which can and
must be learned if what you want is the greatest intimate relationship of your