Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not a member of
the opposite sex is interested in them. Following is a quick outline on how you
should go about the complex, sometimes fun, sometimes not so fun, task of
flirting. It all beings with your approach.
The Approach
One person approaches the other. They move into closer physical proximity. This
much is clear: NO approach equals NO possibility of initiating contact. You must
approach!
Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop, or a man stands near
a woman in a dance club. This is the first step. Once you approach, you begin
looking for the signs.
The Signs
The person who has been approached will always signal the other’s presence in
some way…a sign. This signal is not like a train whistle, however, more a
subtle body language which you can learn to recognize. For example, he or she
simply may look up, move over to make room, nod slightly, or signal with a
glancing eye contact. A display of total obliviousness to the one who is
approaching generally indicates lack of interest altogether. Don’t be
discouraged. But if the one you approached shows absolutely no interest, then
it’s time to re-group and try again. But let’s say the approach works. You
have your positive acknowledgement, now what? Time to talk
The Verbal Exchange
The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange about impersonal,
unimportant matters such as the weather or the scene around them. The key word
here is MILD. This is the classic place for the clever “line,” but
cleverness is not required. At this point, a verbal exchange is not for the
purpose of sharing valuable insights about life or determining philosophical
compatibility. It is just a vehicle to further the developing contact. Examples:
Verbal overtures might include anything from “please pass the pickles” to
“your looking great tonight”, to “have you seen the waitress?”. Without
some form of verbal response, it is highly unlikely that the next step will
occur. Let’s say all is going as planned. Time for body language.
Body Language
Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk may also begin to orient
themselves physically to one another, to turn toward one another until, if all
is goes well, they are fully facing one another. This is your goal. This step
can take minutes or hours . . . or weeks or months . . . to achieve. Yet,
without this physical reorientation toward one another, not very much can ever
happen, so give up on people who turn their back toward you for long periods of
time! But if they don’t…
Touching
The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the other in a light,
fleeting way. Examples: A couple might accidentally brush their hands against
one another while reaching for a drink, or the woman might pat the man on the
arm in the middle of a shared joke. The exchange of very subtle, almost glancing
touches may continue for some while, and if all goes well, can escalate into the
casual affections shown by couples who are dating. If you’ve reached this
point, then flirting has now become the beginning of a relationship. The Art of
Flirting should always end with the beginning of a relationship. Now get out
there and flirt. The Art of Flirting is really the Art of making first contact.
You only have one shot at making a great first impression. By following some of
the guidelines we’ve established in this article, you should now be equipped
to locate, approach, and ascertain whether or not your subtle flirting has
opened the doors to a new and exciting relationship.
My name is Joe Vetromile, and
I’m an author/screenwriter living in So. California. I’ve written hundreds
of articles on the subjects of flirting, dating and breaking-up. Besides having
first hand experience with all three, my research on the art of dating confirms
to me that while the ritual of hooking up with a soul-mate may be arduous at
times, the end result of finding that perfect someone to share the rest of your
life with, is well worth the effort.
Joe Vetromile writes for DrDating – a
web site for anyone looking for love online. We have hundreds of articles,
E-Books and links to some great dating and love sites all over the world.
DrDating also offers reviews of some of the most popular dating sites and books.
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