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What Do Women Want?

By Cliff Montgomery

It’s said that Freud’s dying words were,“What do women want?” With all the contrasting images and concepts flying around today, that lack of knowledge has only gotten worse.

Let’s start with some of the more prevalent theories out there (and take notice of how these theories and studies counter one another). Here’s a piece on 'what do women want' from a British women’s mag called ‘Eve’:

“Women 'want real men who have lived a little'

Forget boy bands and football stars, a new survey says what women want is real men who have lived a little.

James Bond star Pierce Brosnan has been voted the most eligible among this group of more mature males.

More than 3,000 women took part in an internet survey for this week's edition of Eve magazine and concluded the 47-year-old Irish born actor was the older man with the licence to thrill.

Brosnan's Bond predecessor Sir Sean Connery, 70, came third, with voters admiring his cross-generational sex appeal.

Also making the top 10 were former US President Bill Clinton and singer Sting. The Prince of Wales appeared at number 18 in the list.

Eve's editorial director, Gill Hudson, said: "Our readers are real women with real lives and they want their men to be three-dimensional too. Being successful is not enough. Being a good partner, a loving father, showing a sense of community, or fighting for a belief are just as important qualities, if not more so."

Now, take a look at this open email posted on a web board about what do women want.

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“What Do Women Want From Men?
By: Danica

“Speaking from a woman's point of view, most women want to be appreciated and treated like they are special.

A woman, (most women), are warm and loving creatures. More than anything, a woman wants to be appreciated and shown how special she is. You don't have to possess super intelligence, terrific looks or money coming out your ears. Most women love a man who loves them and knows how to treat them special, like the lovely creatures that they are. Be caring and most of all, treat your woman as if she's the first and last thing you want to see every day.

The way to a woman's body is through her heart. That's right. If you want your woman to be sexy for you, try getting to her by way of her mind and heart first. Be romantic and see what happens. She'll be head over heels for you and give you anything you want. Well...almost anything.”

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Now, look at this supposed ‘Dance Survey’, which just incidentally appears on a website promoting a major dance studio:

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“Dance Survey

"What Women Want From Men!"

Survey taken and Written by Gail Arias

This is a survey taken from 500 women ages 25 through 45 years old, single and married.

When a woman knows the pleasure of dancing in the arms of a man, it is next to impossible to settle for anything less, unless he has some incredibly exciting career in which they can experience unlimited financial freedom together or he is unbelievable in bed or both!

The order of importance, according to our survey, is Dance, Financial Success, then Sex. Of all the women surveyed not one said she did not enjoy dancing in the arms of a man. To top it off, if he knew how to dance really well then sex was the best she had ever experienced!

In fact 90% of the women said they could tell what kind of a lover a man would be by the way he danced with her and they could tell his level of sincerity towards her by observing the way he danced with other women.

TEN QUALITIES WOMEN LOOK FOR IN A MAN! (On and off the dance floor)

1. Good Leader on the dance floor who stays on the music.

2. Stable career, financial security.

3. Confident, self assured in the bedroom.

4. Direct eye contact; confident in public.

5. Neat, clean appearance and well groomed.

6. Sense of humor, quick-witted, intelligent.

7. Well-mannered i.e.; opens the door, introduces you to his friends, good table manners etc.

8. Physically fit, keeping weight under control.

9. Interested in what you have to say, a good listener.

10.Nice looking.”

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What Do Women Want?

Hey, I’m no Freud, but here’s how things stand as far as I can tell . . .

One lady’s delicacy can be another’s poison; it fairly depends on individual tastes. But looking at things generally, most women follow a basic pattern in finding that perfect mate.

Initially, a man has the hope of being in a lady’s graces when he is in good shape. It is a fact that every lady loves to be engaged, pampered and in the company of someone that will make her feel both desired and protected wherever she goes with him.

Similarly, a handsome man easily freaks ladies. Handsomeness encompasses the mind, not only having an attractive face and figure. Like men, ladies love to have someone whose looks give them pleasure, as well as someone appreciable, gentle, and soft spoken. But with one difference: a woman loves a man who delights her and makes her entire being willingly submit to his charms.

Ladies love charming guys. A charmer need not be told the exact words that will excite his lady. He is a person ladies find themselves submitting to without knowing. He has the natural power to attract, delight or fascinate. He almost seems empowered with some magic that does wonders in a woman’s mind and heart.

If a guy is not handsome, dressing with style can do some wonders. If he is handsome, he should mind the way he dresses so as not to appear “too handsome” -- I’ve never come across a woman yet who enjoys dating a man who’s prettier than she is. And yes, that even includes bisexual women . . .

The manner of dress portrays the kind of person you are; smart, neat, dirty, or rough. It doesn't matter whether you put on cheap or expensive clothes, but at least dress in a way that will portray your real self. Also, know the clothes to wear at the appropriate occasion. You should know what is ‘right’ to wear to the office, an evening stroll, parties, etc.

Since a lady is naturally less logical and more emotional in her thinking, talking is her way of collecting her thoughts and understanding herself. She is not usually looking for you -- or anyone -- to solve her problems; she just needs to express them openly so she can figure them out. She needs a caring man beside her who normally tries to be a good listener to her problems and support any kind of expression she needs to make. If one is not normally a caring listener there is no way she can consider him to be a heart-to-heart companion. A woman loves a man with an open mind, a man who at least attempts to understand the opposite sex.

It hardly needs to be said that ladies are crazy about men that are imaginative, romantic lovers -- a man that doesn’t have to be told what to do to make her feel attractive, who knows how to behave to make her lose control, or when to demonstrate something wonderful. An unromantic, non-sexual, but caring man is never enough. Such a guy is normal for a brother, but a bore as a lover.

Try to be a man who appreciates some finer things. We all know the Three Stooges kick ass, but have something else ready to throw into the DVD player or VCR. Make yourself a man who is full of surprises on days that are not special, a man that portrays attitude in the most wonderful way that tenderly touches the core of the heart. Forget the grand gesture: try to simply appreciate and return some little favors done to you, simply and honestly. Girls are crazy about that.

Here’s what else worked for me: I stopped bending over backward for my female friends and trying to please them all the time, and focused a lot more on myself.

In a way, you could say that I became more of a jerk. Maybe; I did become a lot more 'take me or leave me' to my female friends.And I got the rest of my life (job, hobbies, a motorcycle, etc.) that appealed to my taste and was finally happy with myself in an honest sort of way. Soon I simply ceased being sorry for my lack of relationship (another side effect is that I stopped displaying neurotic behaviors about such things).

I also put up with a lot less 'crap' in general, from either women or men. If a woman ‘needed her space’, I worked to make her feel like Neil Armstrong. If another man was trying to make me look bad, I never pushed things unless it was painfully clear that a man was trying to humiliate or disrespect me. Then, I no longer tried to rationalize or ‘get along’: I fought.

I noticed that I then began to laugh harder than I had before. The sun was brighter. At night I slept like a child.

I also took the initiative for just going 'out' and 'doing things' -- my hope-to-be female friends were still invited, but I wasn't going to cancel or change my plans if they couldn't make it.

The results of this ‘politically incorrect’ transformation? 1.) successful dates with desirable females, quickly followed by 2.) a steady girlfriend, which was then followed by 3.) additional attention and offers from women other than said girlfriend. Be careful men, there's a real potential for messing up badly when you hit step 3 -- trust me on this one. Finally step 4, I landed a job I really like.

This of course didn't provide me with a mansion where I can invite all the single super-models to come and ring in the New Year, but I don’t really have a problem scoring a new woman anymore. It's good enough for me; I’ve come to suspect that the ‘mansion scene’ is just the creation of some ad agency trying to make me neurotic enough to work that much harder at jobs I really don’t like, so I can buy useless shit I really don’t need.

To sum up, I think that being "Mr. Niceguy" is at first glance appealing to us who grew up in the last quarter of the 20th Century because we are a generation-and-a-half that has been essentially raised by women and TV, and we have therefore been swamped with the notions of what women tell themselves they want, rather than what they -- or we -- really want.

In my observation, despite all the talk about women being 'liberated', 'modern', 'feminist', or supposedly ‘complicated’, the essential things women seem to find attractive in men haven't really changed in the last 500 years. Of course women don’t want to be treated like prized cattle anymore -- who does? All the same, women still like their guys to behave like men, not women with “five o’clock shadows”. After all, that's what they have girlfriends for -- to gossip, commiserate with, etc. . . .

So brothers, be a man who openly loves and appreciates his woman, but a man all the same. Take care of yourself, and your life, and do something with it. Don’t wait to be noticed -- be noticed, and let the rest take care of itself.

Copyright © 2005, Seduction Insider. Seduction tips for men and women.

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