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Online Dating Dangers: Keep Your Guard Up

by Joe Tracy

Online dating is now the preferred method for couples to meet; creating an industry that is worth over a billion dollars a year. With the negative stigma gone and hundreds of new services opening up every year some online daters may find themselves lowering their guard when it comes to the dangers of online dating.

Before the turn of the century whenever you read about online dating in the news, it was usually associated with a negative event. But now you hear about the success of online dating and would be hard-pressed not to know anyone who has married as a result of meeting online. Because online dating is now mainstream, it’s becoming easier for people to let down their guard; unaware that there are still some dangers. Dangers like:

> Danger: Gaining Personal Information on You is Easy
The simple fact is that you don’t know a lot about the person you are emailing. You don’t know their background, history, and what they may be lying to you about (if anything). When it comes time to chat on the phone, many people have no qualms about giving out their home phone number. The problem is that armed with your home phone number a person can do a simple search and within 10 seconds have your home address and other personal information about you.

Protection: Get your home phone number unlisted, if possible. When you’re ready for that first phone conversation, give the person your cell phone number instead of your home number.

> Danger: Over 30% of People Using Online Dating Services are Married
According to MSNBC, nearly one third of people using online dating services are married, most posing as single people.

Protection: Learn the signs that most married people give away when using online dating services. Read the article titled: “Online Dating: How to Stay Clear of Married Men.”

> Danger: SPAMMERS
Some people use online dating services to get your email address in order to add you to SPAM lists. They email you saying to email them at their email address and when you do you are, within a few days, flooded with SPAM messages; most associated with dating scams.

Protection: Use an online dating service’s anonymous email function until you are comfortable that the person you are communicating with is genuinely interested in learning more about you. Most spammers will send you an email that is generic saying they are interested in you and to email them at such and such address. They post an attractive picture and say they can only communicate via real email, etc. to try and “bait you” into emailing them. Don’t fall for this bait.

> Danger: Overseas Financial Scams
Many profiles of overseas women are fronts for financial scam operations. You start communicating with a lovely woman from a place like Russia or the Ukraine and after a few in-depth and personalized communications, when they sense you may be falling in love with them, they ask you to wire them some money. The reasons may vary: a sick relative, they want to buy a plane ticket to come see you, etc.. You wire them the money and never hear from them again.

Protection: Trust your gut instinct. If you are asked to wire money, be very wary. Know your country’s laws in regards to visitations. In many instances a woman you have not met is not allowed to travel to your country until you’ve traveled there and have helped them obtain a visitor’s visa. If you know your country’s laws it will help you identify scam artists; particularly those requesting money for an airplane ticket to see you. Talk to the person on the phone. Get a home address. Research “blacklists” that outline the many scams and scammers. Never wire money that you can’t trace to an actual source.

There are also some general principles you should follow in order to keep your online dating experience safer and more successful:

Always Meet in a Public Place
For your first date, make sure you meet in a public place and that you drive yourself to that place.

Make Sure a Friend Knows Where You Are
Make sure a friend knows where you’ll be on your first date and who you will be with. You might even arrange a “call” sometime during the date to give your friend a quick update. This usually applies more to women than men.

Consider a Background Check
There’s nothing wrong with doing a background check on the person you are dating. If you have enough information on the person, do a background check just to make sure they have a clean record. Some online dating services, like True.com, do limited background checks on all their members, although these sites admit that some bad apples do slip through the process.

Learn Self Defense
Taking a self defense course is a great idea in order to increase your ability to defend yourself should the situation arise. This also applies outside of online dating.

Don’t Give Out Personal Information Too Soon
Really get to know a person via the anonymous email communication before you start volunteering personal information. And when you do give out a phone number, don’t give your home number if it is listed. Instead, give a cell phone number. When you’re ready to email outside of a dating service, use an account from a place like Yahoo or Hotmail and don’t post your full name to appear in the emails you send.

Most Important: Trust Your Gut Instinct
Your gut instinct is one of the most powerful protection mediums you have. If you feel something is wrong, trust your gut instinct.

Learning about the dangers of online dating isn’t meant to scare you away from the process. For the most part, online dating is a safe medium. But the more aware you are of its possible dangers, the more protected you can become by following some common sense rules.

Publisher of Online Dating Magazine

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