If you're a single guy still looking for your dream POA (piece of a.. ), I'm
sure you've absorbed lots of advice on how best to meet and date women by now. A
lot of it is "common sensical" as you well know. Therefore, assuming you know
enough not to show up on a first date looking like you just combed your hair
with an M-80 or wearing cowboy boots and shorts, maybe a few of the following
ideas can give you just enough of an edge to make the difference between Date #2
with an exciting little fox - and a date with ol' Rosie Palm instead. Check
these out :
1 ) Don't Try To Act Like A Fake On The First Date
A woman often makes a far more profound emotional investment into a relationship
than a man does. So for her, TRUST is an immensely important issue. Dating is
not just a convenient way to get her rocks off, it's a case study in the male
psyche. Can she trust you to ever be a good future father? Don't laugh, unless
she's middle-aged and well beyond the kids & husband phase of her life, this
"mating calculus" is ALWAYS running somewhere in the back of her mind.
Acting like a phoney with an obviously fake 'come-on' personality only
demonstrates how easily you are willing to embrace deception in order to get
something you want. To any woman other than the sad exception of the chick who's
looking for another loser for her next AA reclamation project (maybe 10% to 15%
of the female population), you are TOTAL POISON. A potential cheater and
heartbreaker just waiting for his next victim to arrive. She may dump you right
away, OR depending on the depth of her general bitterness towards men, keep you
around to engage in a little recreational tease and torturing if she's got a
vendetta to settle with a guy like you. Beware!
2 ) Create New Memories Instead Of Swapping Them
Here's the very best dating advice I can ever give anyone: in order to make any
date memorable and fun, spend 90% of your activities in the present moment.
It's easy to get caught up in the "talking trap" on a date - where the two of
you sit around and get lost in deeper and deeper conversation. These 'chatting
dates' can slip out of control and become subtle passion-killers though,
especially if you're not careful to keep the big picture in focus. Before you
know it, you're spilling your guts about Father Hamhands from your altar boy
days or waxing poetic about your hemorrhoids and how they love to swell up in
the springtime. Yeesh. As Joey from the TV show Friends once scolded his buddy
Chandler, "... ok, that's TOO MUCH information!..."
For a seduction to go off like a thing of beauty, you must reveal yourself
SLOWLY -- bit-by-bit -- as you gradually come to know her. Think of dating as an
emotional veil dance... a striptease -- the point of which is to make her
anticipate when the next Veil of Male Mystery will come off! This is the kind of
thing she's been DREAMING about all her life. Why? Because it makes everything
that's to follow (including the sex) all that much more delicious for her.
So put ACTION ahead of endless yakking. Stay active on a date (it doesn't have
to be an extreme sport-fest or anything, just visiting a flea market will do...)
so that you are BUILDING a memory with her instead of SHARING one. Focus on
having experiences with her that the two of you can reminisce about some day in
the future -- instead of spending time caught up in a lot of drawn-out amateur
psychotherapy sessions in a bar somewhere. Conversation is very important in any
new relationship, and is the pathway to her eventual sexual surrender, but you
must provide her with a REASON to want to know so much about you FIRST before
opening your soul. Never forget the importance of your veil dance.
3 ) Don't Be A Bore
A boring person is anti-charismatic -- which is to say that, instead of making
people feel GOOD about themselves by acting interested in them, the boring
person makes us want to run away screaming from the agony of having to listen to
another second of his self-absorbed droning!
The point of conversation should always be focused on drawing HER interests out
instead of dwelling on your own (but don't come across like a ruthless Nazi
interrogator -- go easy on the unbroken string of questions). Share a little --
but keep YOUR interests lost in the background. Her response to a few casual
queries about her life or current dreams holds clues to your *LifeLine*. Cling
to it tightly and work on expanding its scope. Submerge your own ego for the
first few dates. Don't worry, when you finally hook her she'll begin questioning
you intently... maybe TOO intently! But that probably won't happen until after
you've had sex. (Then get ready for the onslaught!)
4 ) Forget About Trying To Act "Like Yourself"
The standard dating advice of "being yourself" or "acting like yourself"
(whatever the hell that means) is pure "Oprah-istic" B.S.
Learn to strike a balance between coming on like a phoney-baloney (which we
talked about earlier), and seeming too safe and friendly. Seduction is a
delicate bubble that can be burst with increasingly less effort as it ripens. A
first date is NOT the place to remain in the role of your everyday average old
sort of guy... that's spells B-O-R-I-N-G. A spark must be present to ignite the
'fires of desire' in the old primal portion of her brain.
So that means you have to be EXCITED to be out with her! When you think about
it, it should be easy to get juiced up... dating someone for the very first time
is not something that happens every day in anyone's life. Face it, ordinary life
sucks. Romance is a fantasy voyage, an escape from the 9 to 5 daily drudgery of
work, etc. Treat this rare event for what it is... something unique,
unrepeatable and potentially unforgettable. Even if she seems too cool to care,
trust me... her romance motor is humming along in high gear.
5 ) Five Minutes Of Nerves Is Normal, Then Calm Down
After some initial awkwardness due to understandable jitters, you should be able
to calm down and hit your stride. If you have a real problem controlling
automatic body reactions to nervousness (bad sweating, stuttering, facial
twitching, etc.) my best advice is to get a book on yoga and practice it WITH AN
OPEN MIND. You don't have to go nuts and join the Green Party or anything, but
DO try some of the deep breathing and relaxation techniques. They really work
and can give you the self-control edge you might need. This will project through
in your attitude as a cool confidence that is the unmistakable sign of a High
Status Male!
Learn to always keep your movements around the women you're trying to seduce
graceful and deliberate like a snake charmer. Modulate your voice in a throaty
style (lowered volume) and keep the tone of your words sounding a little bit
"conspiratorial" (without going overboard and making a fool of yourself). A
squeaky voice spells fear and sounds adolescent, so strive to keep it in check.
Be self-aware.
6 ) Obsession Is The Hallmark Of The Weak Male
Dominant males will show an interest in any attractive woman they encounter
because they are highly sexually driven. But -- because they have many options
with females open to them -- they do NOT act obsessive about any 'particular'
woman. So don't be obsessed with her... just be interested. Proclaiming
ridiculously inappropriate nonsense like "...I love you" or "You're the girl
I've been searching for my whole life..." on a first or second date is the
frightening talk of the potential stalker. You become RADIOACTIVE to women once
word of your engaging in this kind of bizarre behavior spreads. And it will
spread... women gossip like demons. So chill the subservient groveling and act
like you've been down the dating & mating road a few times already.
7 ) No Matter What Happens, Assume She Likes You... and Believe It
I'm not kidding here... this is an essential Jedi mind trick that you MUST
somehow learn to play on yourself. Simply ASSUME that any woman you're working
will 'always' like you -- and do whatever the hell it takes to sell this idea to
your unconscious mind! Women can become mesmerized by men who seem to be
captivated by them. But this kind of 'vibe' can only shine through your body
language if it's GENUINE -- and for that to happen, you have to believe that she
will respond favorably to you... 'no matter what'.
Remember... ATTITUDE + UNCONSCIOUS BELIEFS = THE TRUTH. Your attitude is a naked
expression of your unconscious beliefs about yourself. Therefore, it is
interpreted BY OTHERS as revealing the absolute truth about you... whether YOU
like it or not. Control the self-image that you project to the world by pushing
the crappy beliefs about yourself out of your brain, and replace them with
empowering ones that will advance your own personal 'cause' for a change. Strive
to deliberately manipulate this critical part of your consciousness, and watch
your world change before your eyes like magic.
Before long, you'll soon have your pick of all the best looking women in YOUR
world!
About the Author
Mike Pilinski is the author of "Without Embarrassment", a new e-book designed to
show men how to develop unique psychological defenses to protect themselves from
ever having to fear being rejected again. Visit http://www.highstatusmale.com
and pick up a FREE copy of the 25 page Mini-Course "The Three Keys to Seducing
Any Woman"
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