We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen pals that wrote to each other for years without meeting because they lived hundreds or even thousands of miles apart. Some friend of a friend set them up as pen pals or she decided to write to some unknown soldier away at war. They exchanged a few pictures and spent countless hours drafting letters back and forth, baring their
hearts and souls to each other. Without ever dating, they fell in love. When one
could eventually travel across the distance to finally meet the other, they both
knew immediately that this was indeed the one they'd spend the rest of their
life with. The physical attraction was every bit as strong as the emotional
attraction they had felt for each other. It's a classic story that's existed as
long as there's been a postal system for delivering the letters between would be
lovers.
Today we have an Internet version of the same thing. People go to these dating
sites to find love. It seemed a bit weird at first like most things that are new
and different, but eventually we became used to the idea. Is it really any
different than meeting in any other manner? You still have to weed through the
riffraff. You still have people presenting themselves as something other than
what they really are. You still have crooks and cheats, predators. And you still
have honest real folks looking for true love. You still have single parents
worried that people won't accept their kids as part of a package deal. You still
have married folks looking for a way to cheat on their partners. The only real
difference is how fast the system works. You can weed through a heck of a lot of
less than desirable matches really fast and you don't even have to waste time or
money on dinner and movies, or on babysitters and a new dress.
It's my hope that you would take your time with the ones who do seem promising.
When you find a profile that seems interesting, don't rush through the process.
Sure, a lot of people say that the eyes are the windows to the soul and that you
need to meet in person to get a real feel for each other. And there is a lot of
truth to that. Ultimately you do have to meet in person to determine if there's
any type of chemistry between you or not. It's not something that can be
logically determined. You feel it or you don't and you won't know until you meet
them face to face. But what about those old pen pal stories? They fell in love
without it being about sexual attraction. When we meet face to face with someone
that we are physically attracted to, it's human nature to want to speed up the
process so that we can get to the really good stuff! I'm thinking that if we
took more time in the passing notes back and forth portion before actually
meeting face to face, then we'd be more inclined to fall for the person inside
rather than for the physical beauty that can be so blinding to the truth about
people. We all know someone who's been completely consumed by a hot passionate
attraction for someone who was so incredibly wrong for them. It takes forever
for them to open their eyes and see the sexy person for what they really are.
Please don't think that I'm saying that all good looking people are bad
relationships waiting to happen. I just don't want you to confuse sexual
attraction with real intimacy.
If you're just looking to get laid, then by all means disregard this article!
It's not written for you. If you're looking to find that once in a lifetime
incredible love, then why not take the extra time to do it right? Why not agree
to write emails back and forth for a while before meeting in person? Chances are
you've already seen their picture on the matchmaker's web site. Make up fun
questionnaires for each other to fill out. Ask them all sorts of interesting
questions about themselves like 'if you could invite four people to dinner
regardless of what time in history they lived or died, who would it be and why?'
Ask them what their number one biggest regret is in life. Ask them what their
number one most embarrassing moment in life is. Ask them what their number one
best shining moment was. Ask them if they felt loved as a child. Ask them if
they have felt loved as an adult. What is their next wild adventure in life
going to be? Have fun really getting to know each other before you meet in
person. Have a real bond based on more than the fact that you both like moonlit
walks on the beach and want to someday have children. When you do finally meet,
you won't suffer those uncomfortable silences either, you'll have shared laughs
and have plenty to talk about. You'll already be real friends.
So many people put in their profiles that they only want to meet people that are
close to home, 50 miles, 100 miles, etc. Why not reach out across the globe. Why
not find new pen pals to write to? Even if you never fall in love, you've gained
a new friend and the experience of feeling connected to others. Who knows maybe
your soulmate is just across the ocean. Perhaps they're waiting for a note from
you in their inbox. Perhaps you'll become one of those wonderful love stories
worth telling your grandchildren about. "Yep, your grandmother and I wrote back
and forth for a year before I finally saved up enough money to fly over and meet
her. And let me tell you, the first time I laid eyes on her I knew that she was
the only one for me. She was well worth the wait!"
About the Author
Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach
to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics,
astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels
and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her
pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a
free preview of one of her books.
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