I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 months. I am 27 and he is 31. My boyfriend has not slept home in his own apartment, which he shares with his brother, in
almost 2 months.
He likes the heat at 85. I like it at 70. My electric bill for my one-bedroom
apartment came the other day, and it was $191. I was annoyed. I feel like he
should pay for it. I also feel like he should be paying some of the rent if he's
going to be staying at my house every night.
Not to be too precocious, but the fact of the matter is, he's getting all the
benefits of living with me: sex, my company, waited on hand and foot, and he's
not paying for it! I'm annoyed at the very least. My friends say he should pay
the difference in the electric bill. I don't think that's enough. I don't think
we're ready to move in together, but I think he should be helping me out more.
In his defense, he does bring me dinner every night and pick up soda and cat
food and he owns a gas station so I get free gas. There are definite financial
perks, but I feel like he's living with me for free. Can you advise?
Thanks.
Hello!
If you want a roommate - and for this to become a business deal - stop being the
"girlfriend" and start being a landlord.
In regards to the "benefits" of sex and your company: that's pretty damn
arrogant! You TOO are getting those benefits! If you weren't all you'd need to
do is get fresh batteries for your vibrator and spend more time with your cat!
As far as the electric bill, it sounds like you're more than compensated with
the free gas, pet food, dinners, etc. If all you're looking for is a ledger
accounting, pull out a sheet of paper and make a list, draw a balance and give
him a bill - or pay your own half if goes his way.
Relationships are rarely "equitable". In fact, it's usually the GUY that pays by
far the most, not the girl. That doesn't mean that money has to exchange hands
however. It means that there should be some trade-offs. For instance, if your
boyfriend is buying you dinner every night, that's easily going to add up to far
more than the electric bill. Thus, you're actually saving money here!
If you wait on him "hand and foot", that's your choice - and your "investment"
in this relationship. Things like rent, cable and other hard costs are things
you'd have to pay anyway if he wasn't there, so no, you shouldn't expect him to
pay for these things. If your utilities go way up, and you can't afford to pay
for them - even though he's paying for other (much more expensive) things, then
you have a financial problem that he's not going to solve for you!
Look, I'm not trying to take the guy's side here, but it seems that YOU are in
control of what happens. If you don't like it, boot his ass out and make him
sleep at his own place. Don't trade sex and love for money. We have names for
women like that and I don't think you're one of them.
Best regards...
----------------------------------------------------------
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