We’ve all been there.
In the middle of a conversation with a girl when WHAM!
And you have NO IDEA what to say next.
Maybe you even prepared to have things to say but you’ve totally forgotten
what they are. And then you become uncomfortable about the silence which makes
it even worse.
And after a few moments, you’ve lost her attention.
She starts looking around the room for her other friends or ANYONE to talk to in
order to escape the weird silence.
It really sucks and I can emphasize with you.
I’ve been there myself.
It’s kind of like standing in front of a crowd in just your underwear.
You see, women like to be ENTERTAINED and if you’re not interesting enough,
they’ll hover about from group to group until they find someone more
interesting. In other words, their attention spans are short and you if you hit
a brick wall with your words you’ll lose them.
Other times you just lose your conversational momentum. Perhaps you’re telling
a group of two girls stories or in conversational foreplay with them. But for
some reason they’re disengaging from the conversation.
Their eyes wander.
They look distracted.
They turn their bodies slightly away from you.
You’re about to lose the group and you can feel it.
There’s a remedy for this: you have to capture their curiosity.
And let it HANG.
Television producers discovered this trick a long time ago.
When television shows would break for 5 minutes of commercials, a lot of viewers
would switch channels – and never come back.
Producers had to find a way of keeping their viewers watching through the
commercials – or else they would lose money – and go out of business.
They cleverly found that ending the segment on a “cliffhanger” – a
suspenseful situation in which you don’t know what will happen next – kept
viewers watching through the commercials instead of changing the channel.
Notice how a lot of shows end the halfway segment on an unresolved high point of
a tension – before immediately breaking for commercials.
Sometimes you can even predict when the commercials are about to become by
looking for the high point of tension that would leave you “hanging”.
The basic psychological mechanism behind cliffhangers is that they create
TENSION and CURIOSITY. The viewer wants to find out what will happen next – no
matter how lame the actually show is – because humans have a natural instinct
to RESOLVE their curiosity and the unknown.
You also want to create a “cliffhanger” in your conversation to snap right
back a woman’s attention.
And a cliffhanger will work no matter how downhill your conversation has gone.
Consider it “DEUX EX MACHINA” which is Latin for “God from the machine”.
In Ancient Greek drama, playwrights would put their heroes in a desperate and
truly hopeless situation so bad there was no logical way for them to get out of
Then, at the last moment the hand of God would extend from the heavens out of
cloud and snatch the hero from the clutches of death. Stage machinery would move
hand-of-God, with pulleys and ropes approximating the miracle.
A modern-day example of Deus Ex Machina occurs in the movie Matrix: Revolutions
when Morpheus finds himself on top the roof of a tractor trailer as it crashes
head-on into another at 100 mph. At the final moment, Neo swoops down from the
sky out of nowhere, grabs him, and saves Morpheus from an otherwise inescapable
Consider conversational cliffhangers your flying “Neo” who can swoop down
from the sky and recover you from otherwise unrecoverable social situations.
Here’s the conversational cliffhanger I like to use:
“You know, I’ve noticed something that’s really interesting about you… I
don’t know if anyone has ever noticed it before.”
A woman’s attention will snap right back.
You’ve instantly created TENSION and CURIOSITY.
The gears in her mind will start to work furiously. She’ll start thinking,
“WHAT is it that he notices about me??” And she’ll naturally ask you to
satisfy her curiosity.
Here’s the key.
DON’T ANSWER HER.
LET HER WONDER. LET HER SQUIRM.
Just say… “Nah, I couldn’t tell you…”
Now you’ve created a cliffhanger.
And now on to the commercials – anything else you can think of to talk about
that comes to your mind.
Even if all you have to go on is how you were watching the paint peel off your
walls she’ll stick with you – because she’ll want to know how the
cliffhanger resolves itself. Namely, what it is you find so interesting about
her that no one else has probably ever noticed!
In fact, the tension and curiosity may be so great that she’ll repeatedly ask
you what it was you noticed.
Just say with a sly smile,
“Now, now don’t be so greedy!”
Or you can say,
“Hmm… I don’t know if I can tell you right now here in the club. We need a
more private spot. There’s a Denny’s down the street. Come with me and
I’ll tell you.”
In other words, if her curiosity is great enough, make her WORK FOR IT. For
example, you’ll only tell her is she comes with you to a more desirable
Of course, if you want to learn much more about keeping a woman’s attention so
that you don’t stumble in the first place, you’ll want to check out my new,
revised Seduction Science System as well as the other audio courses I offer. The
Seduction Science System comes with dozens of conversational techniques you can
put to use right away.
Until next time, just remember that one simple line: “You know, I’ve noticed
something that’s really interesting about you… I don’t know if anyone has
ever noticed it before.”
And hey, I was talking about YOU. Do I have your attention now?