First dates cause anxiety and thoughts of disastrous and embarrassing moments. We all dread the awkward but necessary first date. It comes with the
territory when looking for love. But it isn’t necessary to feel this way. You
can have the best first date experience with every new person you go out with
from now on. Here are a few tips on how you can actually enjoy yourself and
possibly make yourself even more attractive on each first date.
Don’t bring your expectations or baggage with you. The last thing your date
wants to hear about are your past relationships, ex’s and the problems you had
with other people. You not only sound like a whiner who can’t let go, but you
also make yourself sound critical. If you also list what you think a
relationship or person should have been, you are setting the other person up for
failure because you are obviously judgmental. Your past is your past and it
should stay there. You are with a person who has many aspects of their
personality you can spend countless hours exploring. Look at it as an adventure
instead of like a job application. Enjoy each new thing you learn about the
person even if you know you don’t want to see them again. You never know what
you will learn or if you have found a new friend.
When you leave to meet your date, remind yourself that you are your own person
and this is a great opportunity for someone to get to know who you are. You are
a person with dreams, ideas and intelligent thoughts that can share so much with
the right person. Walk into your date comfortable in your own skin. Maintain
your happy composure and keep the conversation light but honest.
Don’t talk about yourself in any negative terms. If you point out what you
consider to be your shortcomings and flaws, they will be seen. They might have
only been visible to you before you called attention to them. You will also be
obvious in your insecurities and this can make other people feel uncomfortable.
This is not a feeling you want someone you are interested in to associate with
you.
While it is absolutely acceptable to participate in conversation, remember to be
just as good a listener. It means so much to people when they feel as if they
have someone’s undivided attention and they are important enough to have your
focus. When making a comment on a topic or answering a question, you are letting
them know you find them interesting and worth the time and thought. This
courtesy is not always noticed on the surface, but when they think back on the
date, they will feel as if you truly cared about who they are and what they have
to say.
Finally, show them that you have a sense of humor and have fun. Laughter and
humor is attractive on its own and can only help ease the tension of a stressful
meeting situation. While you might not meet ‘the one’ on your next first
date, you will know you gave it your all and the next one won’t be so bad.
Kelly Wolf writes for DrDating
– a web site for anyone looking for love online. We have hundreds of articles,
E-Books and links to some great dating and love sites all over the world.
DrDating also offers reviews of some of the most popular dating sites and books
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